There is no doubt that cloud hosting has made USB drives less useful to most people. That being said, if for some reason you won’t have Internet access or aren’t sure you will, these USBs can save your life.

Crypteks

If you honestly think that pictures of your cat warrant 256-bit AES hardware encryption, then the upcoming Crypteks flash drive will finally put your mind at ease. This ridiculously over-engineered USB stick features a Dan Brown certified (don’t quote us on that) cryptex lock made from ultra-high-grade aluminum to keep that nosey spouse from prying into your files.

There are only 14,348,907 possible combinations, so a determined intruder with a spare millennia could potentially break into the drive, but the self-destruct function ensures that your embarrassing data will be erased automatically after too many incorrect password attempts.

When we say “Simply Secure” we mean it. Seriously. The Crypteks USB™ features a unique hardware controller built right into the stick itself. This chip is the secret to really great encryption; by actively enforcing a preset password (of your choosing), all of the information stored on the USB stick is automatically encrypted and decrypted.

The Crypteks USB is available for pre-order on KickStarter, but even the small 8GB model will run you a steep $130 due to the Bond-level encryption. An extra $30 will double the capacity, and even more expensive packages are available for the rich-and-shady.

The team hopes to ship the units in time for Christmas.

IronKey

The IronKey isn’t nearly as flashy as the above USB drive, but if your have legitimate Top Secret files, the last thing you want is attention. Like the Crypteks, the device uses always-on hardware encryption, so not even the most clever hacker will be able to brute force their way in.

The all-metal IronKey is waterproof to military standards, so you can safely leave it in your pants pockets when doing a wash, or bring it with you to through the Amazon. Our more paranoid readers will be happy to know that a secured version of Firefox is built-in for safely browsing on foreign networks.

Your identity and personal data are too valuable to risk. IronKey Personal keeps you protected with military-grade encryption and easy-to-use identity management. The result of extensive R&D and the collaboration of some of the world’s leading experts in cryptography and the Internet, IronKey is the world’s most secure flash drive.

Despite the lack of a glorified combination lock, the drive retails for the same price as the Crypteks: $130 for 8GB. 16 and 32GB models are also available for $200 and $300, respectively.